Mary

Standard

“Are you really bringing Mary to Athens?”

My sister responds with a picture message of her cat sitting on the floor of her car.

She tells me she couldn’t leave her at our dad’s house, which I understand. It is far better for Mary to be an inconvenience than ignored.

Three hours later, Lea is in my apartment and Mary is settled. She scurries around the vicinity, taking in flashes of her new surroundings. It doesn’t take long for her to become comfortable, and she darts into my room for a more thorough exploration.

But Claire sees her, and naturally, Mary has to approach any new being she encounters.

“Oh no. Why is there a cat in here?”

Minutes later, Lea spies Mary in Claire’s arms.

Lea thinks that Mary was born erratic. Claire told me that since she’s technically still a kitten, she’s still in the phase where she wants to play with everything – and for her, playing is clawing and biting whatever comes her way. I say she experienced a somewhat terrifying event as a baby. Why else would she always be on the defense? Whatever the back-story may be, one cannot deny that there is something about Mary – it’s just hard to determine whether this something is a good thing.

Despite the threat of attack that still exists after her recent declawing, you want to touch her more than anything.
You want to cuddle with her and hold her like a baby. You want to scratch her chin and feel her fur that’s so soft you swear there’s a rabbit gene somewhere in her chemistry. Getting to feel her fur for a number of seconds is worth whatever scratches and bite marks she inflicts on you – yes, she’s that fluffy. She’s so fluffy that she feels luxurious, and it doesn’t even have to make sense.

Image

She’s so fluffy that she looks fat – she’s actually very skinny, though, which was proved the time she decided to jump into the bathtub with my sister.

Image

She holds a fascination with anything that is bathtub. If you shut her in the bathroom, the first thing Mary does is run to the ledge of the tub and hide between the shower curtain and its plastic liner. Always. She does it when I shut her in my bathroom before we leave. It is out of respect and precaution.
I have already been blamed for Mary’s great escape in December. I am not about to put up with this demented animal’s antics again.

She darts.

She invades spaces and claims new territories – atop a desk or buried away in a closet.

Earlier today I spied her trying to climb my coat.

She has taken a peculiar liking to a large Ziploc bag back home, and likes to lie inside it, face out, like she’s inside a transparent sleeping bag. She’s staring at my sister in the photo. She always stares.
I still don’t understand how a creature without thumbs can warp this way.

But then again, I don’t really understand much about her.

Late last night, I awoke to find her nestled beside my legs. She looked straight at me, her eyes yellow and wide like twin full moons.
She didn’t race up to swat my face or pounce on my thigh when I turned. She just sat there and stared at me. She might have even been purring.
Mary and I had officially formed a bond.

Image

Advertisements

Lycidas 3: Have Fish, Will Travel?

Standard

Before you read this, please know that despite the absurdity of this post, I am being completely serious.
You all need to know that I adore my fish. I think he’s the cutest thing in the world. I talk to him every time I see him. I even wrote a haiku about talking to him (talking to my fish/probably is not okay/oh well, what the hell).

But I have a problem. As of two hours ago, it is officially December in this time zone. The last day I need to be here is the 10th, unless by some strange turn of events I finish my Ulysses project three days early – and that isn’t happening, because this project is worth half my grade and I want to make an A in the class, dammit!

For me, being on break isn’t just about being back in my hometown and hanging out with my sister and her cat – it’s also about much greater things, like free food, going downtown and begging my friends to get pizza with me, and sleeping until noon every day. The holidays are such a special time, and I really want Lycidas to be a part of my winter break, because let’s face it: if he isn’t, then he will die.

107691087

If only this guy could take care of Lycidas.

Who would be in Athens to take care of my fish? Nobody. And it’s not like I could just give him one of those big fish food pellets that can keep a fish alive for a week, because I will be gone for at least three weeks.

Then there is the whole water question. I have to clean out his tank biweekly because the water gets really cloudy and Lycidas does not enjoy swimming around in a rave from the 80s. And do you know what else water does? It evaporates. If I were away from Lycidas for three and a half weeks, then half the water in his tank would evaporate in my absence. I could ask somebody to watch him for me, but I don’t really know anybody who would be here the entire break.

It may be crazy, but I feel like the best option here is to take Lycidas home with me. There’s just one little issue: Lycidas lives in a filtered tank – he needs those little air bubbles to live. He can last in a vase for 15 minutes whenever I clean his tank, but I don’t know if he’s strong enough to take on sitting in a plastic cup for two hours while I drive to Macon. To be honest, that probably classifies as animal abuse. Plus there’s the whole issue of him dying in my car. You guys know I believe my capability as a responsible person completely depends on my ability to keep Lycidas alive, and since I’ve managed to do so for three months without any trauma, it would break my heart if I killed him when I was doing my best to keep him alive.

Isolated of the gold fish on white

Note: Lycidas is not a goldfish. I just like this picture.

I am truly in a predicament. Do any of you know anything about fish care? What about fish transport? Would it be better for me to leave Lycidas in Athens with some kind of pet-sitter? Or would he have a stronger chance of surviving through Christmas break if I took him home with me? And this isn’t the only time I would be away from Athens for a long time. Even though it’s far off, I still worry about what to do with him when the school year finally ends and I go home for the summer.

What is the best way to handle this situation? Will my baby die if I put him in a plastic cup for two hours? Is it possible for him to handle the stress that comes with long-distance travel? Can I make the possibility of spending Christmas with my fish a reality?

Sorry….

Standard

It’s been ages, I know. I feel terrible for staggering so badly and that I at least owe the people who read this some kind of explanation.

School has taken over my life. Worse than usual. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it on here before, but this is the worst semester of my life. School is kind of kicking my ass – well, I’m not doing badly, but I have to work much harder than I ever have before, and to be completely honest, I hate it.

Double majoring is a blessing and a curse at the same time. I love being able to look at different styles of writing from other perspectives. It actually gives me a huge edge in my classes. Then there’s the bad side – because I have two majors, I have to split my priorities. When I’m really busy, I’ll work on something for one class for about 20 minutes and then grab my other notebook. It kind of sucks, especially when four drastically different projects get thrown at me.

But I won’t complain about school anymore today. At least not here.
Since I’ve left this dry for the equivalent of a semester, I’ll try to give you a few updates. There are a couple things I have actually managed to stick to. Here are the more important things going on:

  1. Lycidas is alive and well. I can’t believe he survived Thanksgiving break, and now that finals are approaching (well, one-final-and-three-huge-projects), i’m being sent into a frenzy over how I am going to care for him over Christmas break. I would really like to take him home so he could spend the holidays with me, but I’m terrified that if I take him out of his filtered tank for two hours he will die.
  2. I managed to keep up a few of those goals I made for myself back in August, and I’m happy about it. I went back to using multiple day planners, but it hasn’t really gotten my life back in control.
    The best thing I have done this semester is make a point to write something every week. Ever since I started writing for The Black Sheep, that hasn’t been an issue. Hopefully I won’t be judged by whatever jobs or internships I apply to. And if nobody in the workforce takes me seriously, I can at least applaud myself for having a knack in writing crude humor pieces. You can read everything I’ve written for The Black Sheep (and a story about Thanksgiving, which I did not write but for some reason has my name on it) at theblacksheeponline.com
  3. I tried to be cool and use a link but it fucked everything up. I don’t know why the internet is being so terrible to me right now.
    This is some of my project.

 

  1. I don’t know if this actually constitutes as good graphic design. I just can’t believe I actually made something that looks good with a computer. And I made that cover on Paintbrush for Mac, so you have to be impressed with that, right?
  2. Another good thing I’ve gotten into is working on my culinary skills a little. I’m definitely not a lady-beast by any means, but I am growing. I can make pretty good grits, and I made a salad for lunch tomorrow, which I don’t think I’ve done… well, ever. See? I’m progressing already. 

But… I should probably back away from my laptop. Even though I am trying to apologize and make amends for skimping so hard lately, I’m also procrastinating a little and kind of have two huge projects due on noon on Tuesday. You know, just 3000 words to write, no big deal (okay, I lied about complaining.) But one of those projects might end up on here, because if everything goes according to plan, it’s going to be an awesome story about the increasing popularity of bacon in high-end restaurants, desserts, and culture. Yeah. Hopefully.

Hopefully I’ll have more time to write things soon. And if I don’t and the world decides to hate me, at least there’s always Christmas break to look forward to. Brace yourselves: My Big Fat Iranian Christmas is approaching.

Lycidas Part 2

Standard

The things I’ll do to get out of homework can get pretty weird. In the past week, I’ve cleaned my entire apartment, rearranged my room, stayed at paper meetings until the last three people there wanted to go home, and made a Facebook account for my dog – yes, I have reached an all-time low.  On Monday, while I was developing a case of writer’s block, I decided to finally buy some vacuum cleaner bags because my room was a mess and I was tired of seeing my hair on the floor. (It has a nasty habit of falling out. Ask anyone I know.) Google told me that Walmart was the only place that sold Oreck vacuum bags, so I went there.
In order to access the cleaning section, I had to walk past the pet section, which is interestingly adjacent to the electronics and entertainment section. I peered down an aisle and saw fishtanks, remembering that I had wanted to get a fish for a while. Let me refresh your memory – or, if you didn’t read my last Lycidas post, catch you up – I took a Milton class last semester, and one of the poems I had to read, Lycidas, was an elegy for one of Milton’s friends who had drowned. I thought it would be really funny to get a fish and name it Lycidas, because yeah, fish can live underwater. There! Now you’re caught up! But I had to wait for a while. You see, I didn’t want to get a fish before I went to Austria, because I was worried that whoever I entrusted with taking care of it would accidentally let it die. Inadvertently letting your fish starve to death while you’re in Europe is just not fair.
But I wasn’t in Europe anymore. I wasn’t going anywhere for a while. I decided that I had finally come across an opportune moment for a fish. I had been eating vegetables. I had been cleaning ferociously. I was writing weekly. Clearly I was responsible enough for a fish! And here, in a Walmart, I had come across the coolest fish in the world.
And this is how Lycidas came into my life.
Lycidas is the first animal I’ve gotten since I left for school. The only one. I don’t really count Norman because Norman is a plant. Lycidas is my animal, and mine alone. This means that I really want everything to go perfectly and have been freaking out over a fish. I watch him to make sure he eats his food – he’s a little bad at this; at the moment, I’m not sure whether he’s still adjusting to living somewhere else, just not hungry at the moment, or dumb. Or I guess he could have a tiny appetite. Thanks to Dr. Seuss, I believe that fish have enormous appetites. Or I could be basing that off my own appetite. Anyway, I’m trying really hard not to screw up because I feel like fish are really easy to kill. Oh, and because I now believe that my credibility as a responsible person depends on my fish’s life.
I suppose you want to see a picture. Here is Lycidas in all his Instagram glory:

20120905-175128.jpg

I told you he was the coolest. And here is again, once he finally became a little less camera-shy. He had to adjust to his new environment, you know.

20120905-175134.jpg

Here We Go Again

Standard

Look, I’m alive! And I’m going to let the internet know about it!

So what is happening? School is happening, obviously. And as usual, it’s terrifying me. I’m too advanced for my own good.
But other things are happening too. I got a position at a paper, which is nice because I can be as dramatic and abrasive as I want to be within reason. And by within reason, I mean I can’t use the word “rape.” The people behind the paper actually get pissed if the content isn’t ridiculous enough.
Meanwhile, I’m overflowing with ideas, which is awesome. It’s funny. I had extreme writer’s block all the time, and once I got to Europe, it just all went away. You guys just didn’t know about it because I got super lazy and started posting on this. So I’m super idealistic right now, and once I stop being so tired and lazy all the time, things should flow very quickly. The columns I want to write but are too serious for The Black Sheep will probably end up on here. I can be serious, I mean it.
Anything else? Oh yeah, now that I’m not going out of the country for a month anymore, I can finally get a fish. So hopefully Lycidas will come into the picture soon, especially because my dad killed my other plant and Norman no longer has company.

Aaaand now I’m exhausted, which is kind of funny because I meant to go into my goals for junior year and twentydom. All I care about right now is taking a nap.
I’ll get better at this, I promise.