I think it’s fair to say that I suck at computers.
I only know my way around a handful of programs on my computer. I can write a paper using Microsoft Word even though I hate it because it will randomly shut down. However, I have managed to cope with that, and just save my document every time I complete a sentence – or even half a sentence, actually. I know how to transfer photos to my computer and upload them to the internet. I can do about eight things in Photoshop. I haven’t made a Powerpoint in years, but I do know how to do it – it won’t look snazzy or have stupid word art or anything like that, but I can get the job done. I can make songs play on iTunes and Spotify. I can use the Finder. I can open the internet. I can take stupid pictures of myself on Photobooth. That’s about it.
Under normal circumstances, I would be pretty impressed with myself. I am an English major, after all, so mainly I deal with books and libraries. A lot of the time I can’t use outside sources, and when I’m allowed to, they can’t come from the internet. Microsoft Word is really all I need. It doesn’t really matter that I only half-assedly know my way around a computer.
Except that isn’t true. Somewhere along the line, I realized that I like journalism and had been reading, tearing apart, and making magazines my whole life. This meant that I needed two majors, and my journalism major is why I feel bad about not being able to do much with a computer. Journalism isn’t like English. Journalism isn’t just a bunch of analytical papers written on Microsoft Word and maybe a slideshow here and there when a group project is assigned. Journalism isn’t sticking my face in a book for days and then figuring out everything I need to write on three pieces of paper at the most.
No, journalism is more than that. It’s writing and pictures and video and audio (which is what I happen to be worst at) and publishing these things beyond a final draft that lands on a teacher’s desk or a post on Facebook. And it’s still more than all that, because it’s all of those elements working together. Print and the internet are merging more and more every day, and I can’t complete a multimedia project without asking for help. How am I supposed to be a journalist?
This is relevant because I’m making a Blurb photo book for my dad, and guess what I have to use for that? Software. I’m not saying that Blurb is difficult to use, because it isn’t. Even I can use it. I don’t know if, say, my mother could, but I can. It isn’t hard, but it’s tedious. And then I’ll get frustrated every five minutes because something I don’t like is happening. I’ll click on a picture and the whole book gets zoomed in way too much. Several of the layouts that are available happen to be the inverse of what I think would look best, and it makes me wonder if there is actually a way I can inverse the template and I’m just too incompetent to find it. Or the entire program will freeze and I can’t close it because my mouse will be doing that pinwheel thing that happens when something is loading. Command+Q and control-alt-delete don’t work either, so I have to resort to my tried and true method of escaping computer issues: pressing the power button a few times and holding it down.
But that isn’t the worst part. My computer battery has either reached old age or resorted to a state of insanity. If my computer is not plugged in, even when it’s at full charge, it will shut off without warning. Sure, I’ll think to myself, that’s a bit of a grievance, but I can live with that. But no, it got worse. Now my computer will shut off while it’s plugged in, and that is a bit of an issue.
I don’t think I can solve the issue by myself because if it were up to me, I would have thrown my computer out the window by now. It might not be the right thing to do, but I can’t help but feel that way.
I guess I need to get a new battery. I will have to take my laptop to a Mac store and get it fixed, because there is no way I can do something correctly by myself. And if I’m ever going to finish this photo book, I’m going to have to have a functional computer.
I have to leave so I can fix this. My computer shut down once while I was in the process of writing this, and this only took about 20 minutes.
Here is a comic.