Confessions of a Luddite Part 2


Prepare yourself for an ode to Chrome. Oh, and some more Facebook-bashing – I’m kind of in a love/hate relationship with Facebook. I love being able to talk to people, share photos, and research others (ahem, stalk them) from my bed. Well, I can do it from other places too, but I usually set up station in bed. Fortunately I can’t do that here because my ethernet cable is pretty short, but I really like this table in my room. It’s like a booth in a restaurant and has nice windows next to it.
Anyway, back to hating things. My biggest issue with Facebook is that it wants to monopolize features from all the other social networking sites. Chat. Memes. Apparently Facebook is getting video chatting soon, evidencing its attempt to win Skype users over. If Facebook can’t copy something well, it just buys it – this opinion is, of course, coming from somebody who knew about Instagram ever since it first came out (I’m so damn cool, I know).  I like having multiple social networking counts. It helps me waste more time, and I can have a slightly different identity on each one. The Facebook Sarra is different from the Tumblr Sarra, the Instagram Sarra, the YouTube Sarra, the WordPress Sarra, et cetera.

I’ll get to my point now. Like I said, I upload an extensive amount of photos to Facebook, and that’s especially true now since I’m studying abroad. Austria is beautiful, and I want people to be able to see what I see. Plus people can know that I’m still alive!
I took pictures at the carnival the other day. If you keep up with this blog at all, you’ve probably seen them. After I got back to my room, I imported my photos to my computer and prepared to upload them to Facebook – a process, that should not be that difficult for somebody who currently has 162 photo albums on Facebook, right?
Not this time. When I clicked “add more photos,” Facebook told me that I needed to install the latest version of Flash Player. “No big deal,” I thought. “Facebook is probably just about to completely change its appearance again or accumulate a feature from another website.” I updated my flash player. I guess it took about five minutes. I wasn’t really paying attention.
Glad that the minor nuisance was over, I returned to Facebook so I could upload my photos. I went to my album and clicked “add more photos.”
Nothing happened. I kept trying for about ten minutes and decided that perhaps I wasn’t the only one facing this issue. Facebook’s help page didn’t really do it for me, though. There was an option where I could actually tell them what was wrong, so I clicked on the link, remembering how helpful Joey from Tumblr was when I randomly got locked out of my account, which really sucked because I put a paper I was writing on there and couldn’t access it. I ended up getting a C+ on the paper. Kind of stung.
Facebook emailed me back, and I have to say I’ve never had better help:


Thanks for taking the time to report this to us. We’re sorry to hear you’re experiencing an issue using Facebook. While we aren’t responding to every report, we may reach out to you for more information as we investigate this. 

To receive more information about on-going issues and updates when we fix reported problems, check out our Known Issues Page:

Thanks again for taking the time to help us improve Facebook. 

The Facebook Team

“We may reach out to you for more information as we investigate this.” May. So nothing. 
Since The Facebook Team wasn’t nearly as helpful as Joey from Tumblr was, I just decided to see if I could try and fix this issue myself. For the next three days, I would randomly log on to Facebook and see if the photo uploader had decided to work in my favor. That didn’t exactly work. Then I though uninstalling and then reinstalling my Flash Player might do the trick. Nope. After sending The Facebook Team a slightly caustic report on my struggle, I finally decided that I couldn’t solve this on my own.
I, the stubborn little half-Iranian, asked for help. How did I do it? By posting a Facebook status, of course. I don’t know, I thought somebody monitoring posts or something (I’m sure Facebook is monitored. Can’t you see how much I don’t trust technology?) might see my wonderful little passive-agressive status where I called Facebook a bitch.
Help came in the form of Kevin Lobo Jimmar. I have to say, I had no idea he was good with computers. Or maybe that just reveals how bad I am with computers. He suggested that I enable safe browsing, because sometimes having that “s” after the “http” helps. It’s also a great way to get on Facebook in high school. Although enabling safe browsing did cause a reaction, I still couldn’t upload my photos. I couldn’t even get the simple uploader to upload photos, and I haven’t had to use that thing to upload photos in two and a half years.
Kevin suggested that I download Google Chrome. “Why the hell not,” I thought to myself. I didn’t really have anything to lose but time, and I am an expert at wasting time. Plus it had just started raining, so there was no way I would be leaving my room anytime soon.
I’ve used Chrome before and really liked it, but I never really thought to install it on my computer. Most of the reason I liked Chrome was that its icon looks a little like a poké ball. I’m a luddite, remember? I don’t need two internets! I never really had any issues with the internet except that time I got locked out of Tumblr for some mysterious reason – that was absolute torture.
Once the Chrome installation finished, I opened a window and got on Facebook. I went to my Austria photo album and clicked “add more photos.”
Something actually happened this time. Chrome had fixed what Facebook could not.
My Facebook issue wasn’t the only problem Chrome fixed. The internet is kind of slow here. So slow that one day it took me 20 minutes to check my email. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I have to use an ethernet cable. I’m not really sure. I just kind of thought that Austrian internet didn’t like Americans. Now I just realize that Safari kind of sucks. I guess it doesn’t suck. I just can’t update it for some reason – yes, I tried doing that to fix my Facebook problem too.
But none of that matters now, because as of about an hour ago, I am a Chromophile.
Here’s to having an even better internet experience, something I thought I could only dream of.

You’re Going to Have to Fix Your Grammar Problem


Firstly I’m going to have to apologize for how judgmental I am when it comes to other peoples’ grammatical errors.
I’m sure I’m no model. I grew up in Georgia, for God’s sake. I know I’ve made my own mistakes.
I just feel like people – educated people, high school and college graduates, doctors even, you name it – can’t grasp such a simple concept:
“You’re” means “you are.”
“Your” is possessive.
One cannot say “you’re hair always looks beautiful” and expect not to be ridiculed – this is a true story, the evidence is attached to my mother’s fridge. I can upload a picture of it if you truly insist.
Am I a bitch for feeling this way? I just cannot stand – or understand – why it is so hard for people who are in and have graduated from college to distinguish between two words, to realize that they look like complete idiots when they add or neglect that apostrophe and e. Is it all just habit?
Yes, it makes me feel extremely bitter. I feel like I bother people for being so opinionated about grammatical errors. I also feel like people don’t care enough about being correctly understood to fix such a simple mistake.

Even the internet is on my side.

There’s another mistake that really gets to me. For some reason, a great percentage of the people I know (or at least happen to be Facebook friends with – that is, until their repeated errors drive me to delete them) really like to mix up “breathe” and “breath.” I’m talking statements and statuses like, “without you I can barely breath.” When I read something like that, I momentarily have no idea what’s going on until I realize that somebody either neglected or never learned that the verb “breathe” contains an e.
Maybe this might help. I’m not sure whether people who frequently make grammatical errors read my blog, but I might as well give this clarification a try.
The verb “breathe” has that prominent “eee” sound. Do you know what I mean?  It sounds like “brEEEthe.” 
“Breath,” the noun, on the other hand, has more of an “ehh” sound. “Brethhh.” Something like that.
See? It’s easy!

I just want you guys to know that I’m only being so finicky about these misspellings and misconceptions because I know you can all change if you really want to. I’m not saying you have to speak with perfect grammar (well, only if you want me to instantly and completely fall in love with you – See? I’m using cliches. I suck too!), and I’m definitely not asking you to mimic the AP Stylebook because I’m still pissed about the Oxford comma thing.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that while these two errors I’ve highlighted are extremely annoying, they’re also very easy to fix. If you can learn to distinguish when to use that e (and the apostrophe in the case of “you’re”), then more people will take you seriously and see you as the mature and smart individual you’re aspiring to be.
You can do it. It’s really easy. Just trust me.