Cee Lo, fuck you.


You know, when I saw the lineup for this year’s Lollapalooza, I thought it was kind of cool that Cee Lo Green was playing – “Fuck You” is a pretty catchy song, okay? Months later, I actually made it to Lollapalooza and was still intent on seeing this guy. I waited at the Sony Stage for what seemed like an eternity just because I liked one song by this guy and thought he might put on a good show, and I wasn’t crazy about any of the other bands playing during that time slot. A lot of the people in the audience were only there so they could get a good spot for Eminem’s show, which was some three or four hours later – that’s some pretty intense dedication if you ask me. Finally the performance began, but let me assure you, it was not worth any wait. Green, who was dressed in some sort of leather ensemble with shoulder pads that could double as weapons, was accompanied to the stage by a pack of sex kittens. This guy advertised himself as a ladykiller – that must explain what those shoulder pads are for, killing ladies.
┬áCee Lo decided it would be best to sing other musicians’ material and save “Fuck You,” the only song people in the crowd wanted to hear, for last. He gave a rendition of Gnarls Barkley’s “Crazy,” which mirrored their anticlimactic performance that took place a few years before, which the guy next to me told me about. The crowd was hardly pleased, and Green actually decided to spare us some agony and actually ended his act early. Even though he was singing “Fuck You,” the song we had all been painfully waiting for, the crowd was apathetic – people even cheered when Green announced that “Fuck You” would be his last song some twenty minutes before the act was supposed to end.
The part of Cee Lo’s act that bothered me most was his little speech on how we all needed to be ourselves and do what our hearts followed – how could this idiot wearing torture devices on his shoulders have the nerve to say something like that when he hardly sang any of his own material? And let’s not forget how cliche the whole ladykiller persona is – I mean really, Cee Lo, are you fucking kidding me? Did you not just try to project yourself as something the public “expects?”
Cee Lo Green, you are mistaken. Fuck you.